And friends are friends forever;
If the Lord's the Lord of them.
And a friend will not say never,
'Cause the welcome will not end....
I was recently thinking about this song during a run. Of course, I could only concentrate on that one line, "And friends are friends forever..." I just don't get that. Is there really such a thing as "FOREVER FRIENDS"?
There are a couple of groups of women that I'm aware of that could be considered "forever friends." One of these groups, THE FAB FIVE, have known one another since they were five years old. To this day, not a month will go by where they don't make time to spend with one another. Do they all live next door to one another? No. They are scattered throughout the Metroplex. However, their friendship is a priority for each of them. They don't let too much time pass without picking up the phone or getting in their cars to meet one another. Yes, they have families, children, jobs; but they have each other as well. They cherish their friendship as much as they do the other responsibilities that I listed.
Is this connection, this "forever" friendship a novelty? Is it more common than I am aware of? During my time of reflection, I was able to focus on where I am friendship impaired. I realize that when my imperfections show, I dismiss friends. After all, how can I expect anyone to still want to be around someone with all of my faults? I will crawl under a rock - I won't answer phone calls or emails; I won't accept invitations to the movies or pool parties. I will live the life of a hermit until they get the picture. I react this way because of my insecurities and my embarrassment. These actions have made me lose some wonderful people in my life.
One of these people is SB. She is a no-nonsense type of person. She is such a nurturing individual. She has two wonderful little boys that will never lack for love and a husband that things she hung the moon. We met by happenstance and hit it off right away. She helped me through a rough and scary divorce. She didn't sugar coat things but wasn't stingy with her support either. I will be bold enough to say that there was a strong mutual respect between us as well. That is, until I broke it.
SB quickly introduced me to her group of girlfriends. They were all loving women. However, I always felt like an outsider... These were, after all, HER friends. They all had history with one another. They grew up together, went to school with one another. I was considered their friend, but I always felt out of place. That was something that I put on myself. They didn't do anything but welcome me into their circle. SB had to move out of state and I was heartbroken. She knew I was going to miss her, but I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to tell her how much. Nor did I tell her why. After she left, I found myself distancing from this group. I kept saying that they were only my friends because of SB, and since SB is gone I should be too. I miss those girls. And I desperately miss SB.
I will think about SB the next time I find myself hiding away.