Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Are Friends Really Friends Forever?

And friends are friends forever;
If the Lord's the Lord of them.
And a friend will not say never,
'Cause the welcome will not end....

I was recently thinking about this song during a run. Of course, I could only concentrate on that one line, "And friends are friends forever..." I just don't get that. Is there really such a thing as "FOREVER FRIENDS"?

There are a couple of groups of women that I'm aware of that could be considered "forever friends." One of these groups, THE FAB FIVE, have known one another since they were five years old. To this day, not a month will go by where they don't make time to spend with one another. Do they all live next door to one another? No. They are scattered throughout the Metroplex. However, their friendship is a priority for each of them. They don't let too much time pass without picking up the phone or getting in their cars to meet one another. Yes, they have families, children, jobs; but they have each other as well. They cherish their friendship as much as they do the other responsibilities that I listed.

Is this connection, this "forever" friendship a novelty? Is it more common than I am aware of? During my time of reflection, I was able to focus on where I am friendship impaired. I realize that when my imperfections show, I dismiss friends. After all, how can I expect anyone to still want to be around someone with all of my faults? I will crawl under a rock - I won't answer phone calls or emails; I won't accept invitations to the movies or pool parties. I will live the life of a hermit until they get the picture. I react this way because of my insecurities and my embarrassment. These actions have made me lose some wonderful people in my life.

One of these people is SB. She is a no-nonsense type of person. She is such a nurturing individual. She has two wonderful little boys that will never lack for love and a husband that things she hung the moon. We met by happenstance and hit it off right away. She helped me through a rough and scary divorce. She didn't sugar coat things but wasn't stingy with her support either. I will be bold enough to say that there was a strong mutual respect between us as well. That is, until I broke it.

SB quickly introduced me to her group of girlfriends. They were all loving women. However, I always felt like an outsider... These were, after all, HER friends. They all had history with one another. They grew up together, went to school with one another. I was considered their friend, but I always felt out of place. That was something that I put on myself. They didn't do anything but welcome me into their circle. SB had to move out of state and I was heartbroken. She knew I was going to miss her, but I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to tell her how much. Nor did I tell her why. After she left, I found myself distancing from this group. I kept saying that they were only my friends because of SB, and since SB is gone I should be too. I miss those girls. And I desperately miss SB.

I will think about SB the next time I find myself hiding away.


  1. SB is living in TX again! Do I hear a GNO!! We do not judge we accept each other for who we are. That's how friendships last a life time! I value them as family! There kinda of a big deal in my life. I really do miss you! I miss our GNO as a group! Do I hear a GNO!!

    i can relate to being an outsider. i use to think Jack's friends were wierd! Now they are normal hahah!! I read your blog and I think to myself I would have missed out on a lot if I wouldn't have taken the time to get to know them. I use to say they are your friends not mine! hahah he use to get so mad at me! By accepting there invitations and hanging out I got to know there likes and dislikes and so much more. Now I can say I've know them for 6 years! Crazy 6 years!! I've made so many fun memories with them. That's nothing compared to my girls the years we have known each other is SUPER CRAZY!!

    We only live once and we must live without regrets! Live life to the fullest and make lots of crazy memories with the people we love!!! I love you guys!!!

  2. There really is truth in friends are friend's forever.....I use to never stop singing that song over and over again!! Great song, and btw, you never any reason to hide ;)

  3. V: That is so funny. I say that about the hubby's friends. He swears they love me and that they are my friends too. I need to get out of that habit. As for GNO, I would LOVE to, but you may need to check with SB. I really feel like I burned that bridge :-(

    E: thanks girl!

  4. Are you assuming that you burned that bridge or do you know cause you've asked! First thing I would suggest is you talk to her! Quit being a hermit! Your missing out! Doug sounds like Jack!! Hahaha